They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
