Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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