waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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