It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
