Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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