So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
