i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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