I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got inside last night via doggy door
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
