good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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