Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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