So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
