WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
