I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
