I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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