If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
