i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
