So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
