In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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