We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize