I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
