Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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