I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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