Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
