seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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