I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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