so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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