Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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