Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
