is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
