My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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