Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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