A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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