Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
