Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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