I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
