We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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