I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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