you guys were way drunker than both of me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
