woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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