And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
