I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
