Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
