We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
