Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize