just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
