i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
