dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize