Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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