There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
