I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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