so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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