College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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