You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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