since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
