He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
