You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
