I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
