Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
