4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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