yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I want a musical about memes.
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