Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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