i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
