weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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