Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My dick has a subreddit
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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